i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
