HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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