fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
