I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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