Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
