Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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