Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
