she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
