My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
