Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
