Can Purell be used as lube?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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