I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
