When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Enjoy the penises
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
