she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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