I saw his package. It spoke to me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
