Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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