have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
