she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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