you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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