You can't special order awesome
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
