called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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