I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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