You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
