Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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