I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
