He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
