Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
