Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
