A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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