I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just gift wrapped bread.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize