I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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