winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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