It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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