I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
