Nicole vs. Life
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
