mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
