There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
