I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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