I wish I only lived at night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
