My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
