i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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