Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
