I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
