neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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