i don't like sucking hair
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
FUCK WHALES
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
