i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I will be naked everywhere
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize