We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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