He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
