I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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