god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
