I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
