you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
