he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize