hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
