i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
