Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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