i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
