didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Holy sore nipples Batman
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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